Unfortunately, podq.com is no longer maintained. Please visit my new site at http://www.joshualyman.com for new and updated content. Thank you!

It is the dutifully earned privilege of Seniors at Ponderosa High School, the right of having a Senior Locker. While the rest of the school is subjected to either using 3� wide tall lockers, or 6� wide half lockers, Seniors enjoy 10� wide, 6’6� tall lockers in the main hallway, a grand convenience of grand proportions! I have been scheming for a good long time on how to appropriately utilize this privilege, and I have finally developed a masterful plan!

Map of Lockers First and foremost is the all important location of the locker. Observe the map at right. The map shows the entire Senior Hall, with the main doors at the top, and all areas in red being lockers. My locker is located right in the center of all the lockers, right on the curve which is the â€?major hangoutâ€? 😉 Locker #4113 is the last locker in the row, and is located next to the absolutely critical power outlet. Why is a power outlet so critical you ask? Well read on…

The main attraction of the locker is the stuff inside it. Not just your average every day highschool junk, but real important stuff, stuff that will actually make a difference throughout the year. Why? Because it’s cool stuff with entertainment value! And what is more important these days than entertainment value?? (Satirical voice there) So here’s the rundown, noting diagram at right:

Locker Diagram–image here

  1. The TV: Perhaps the centerpoint of the locker is a small television, approximately 9� in size, and black and white, perhaps color. It will be purchased off of Amazon.com or eBay, depending on where I get the better deal. I want to be able to show movies like �Finding Nemo� and watch �The Price is Right!� To achieve the first goal, it will need to either be able to hookup to an external device, or include a VCR or DVD player in it. More discussion on this later. Coby TV Memorex TV eBay Search for TV’s
  2. Speakers and CD Player: Of course, when we’re not watching television, we’ll be jammin out to some awesome tunes! Which is why I’ll need a CD Player. Also, I don’t count on the speakers on the TV to be entirely capable of being loud enough, so I will need an external pair of speakers. However, if the TV comes with a DVD player, I can eliminate the CD player for obvious reasons, therefore I would prefer a TV with a DVD player included. On the side of the CD player there is extra space for holding CD’s. Chosen speakers on Amazon.com
  3. The Food: Of course, no entertainment center would ever be complete without a stash of grub, so obviously we need to have a big area for this stuff! Though the diagram is not incredibly detailed, you’ve got a Pringles can, some cookies, some chips, some Gummie-Bears, and possibly a beverage. Hopefully the janitors don’t have midnight snacks… 😉
  4. Suspended shelf: This is to hold the unfortunates, my books. ’Nuf said.
  5. Foldout chair: I don’t expect myself to sit on the cold hard tile while enjoying �The Price is Right!� No, I will have a reclining foldout chair, that also comes with a sunshade, that perhaps I will place a discoball on. Just in case. The foldout chair will definitely be blue, because I like blue. It will fit in the space between the side and the suspended shelf.
  6. Foliage: No area is complete without some greens! Just a small little plant or bush to cheer up the place and keep it natural!
  7. Ponderosa Pocketchange Raffles container: O now this is a big part of the plan! I will discuss this later, but for now, this briefcase holds the entry forms to the raffle as well as the entrance fees and prizes!
  8. Quote of the Day Board: A carry-over from last year, this dry erase board has the famous Quote of the Day on it, changed every morning to give everyone something to think about for the day. Also below the board will be a new Mormon-Ad, posted every week for inspiration!
  9. The Pictures Door: And finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! What is possibly good enough to go on the inside of the door to grandest locker of all time? What could possibly add to the value of an already mind-blowing plan? All of the pictures of my girlfriends of course! Hahaha! 😉

Not Pictured: Either because I forgot to add it to the diagram, or because I couldn’t figure out a suitable way to represent it using Omni Graffle, I did not include the power strip to give life to all of the electronics contained therein, and the blow horn which I will have to announce Ponderosa Pocketchange Raffles.

Incredible locker, huh? You only wish you could have had such a cool senior locker, huh? Huh pal? I’ve been plotting this one out for a long time, and yes, there still are some issues like funds and security, but I have a few weeks before school starts again and I hope to have it fully mapped out by that time. Note that the drawing is to scale (haha yes it’s true!) and I have already begun research on products that I want to include. But wait! There is one last thing to discuss!

Ponderosa Pocketchange Raffle:
Every Friday, as the culminating aspect of the Locker Extraordinaire, I will be hosting the Ponderosa Pocketchange Raffle, a raffle of small prizes raffled off every Friday to all those who enter. The prize for the week (such as $5 gift certificates to Burgers and Sports or Ponderosa memorabilia) will be announced each Monday through a flyer distributed to all seniors. Seniors then have the opportunity throughout the week to enter their names as many times as they wish, as long as the pay the accompanying 25c fee. Then, when Friday arrives, I will use the blow horn in my locker to get everyone’s attention, call for a drum roll, and announce the winner of that week’s raffle! The drawing will be right before the last period of the day, before everyone ditches and leaves. I have yet to decide whether the proceeds will go straight to the prize fund, or if they will be used to support a charity of some sort. But all in due time, I will have that figured out as well before the beginning of the year. Now this my sound like a strange or stupid idea to some, but with the help of some of my popular football friends, drumming up support shouldn’t be too bad. Way to go Ponderosa!

And there ya have it! The ultimate locker! I post this early because if any of you have suggestions or constructive criticism, please post it in the comments section! Otherwise, you may comment on how excited you are to see this locker for the final year of the best class ever, Class of ’05!

4 responses

Do you want to comment?

Comments RSS ?

You forgot the high powered lamp for your…uhem, “foilage”.

December 24, 2004 10:27 pm

This is the most awesome locker ever! I’ll definately be hangin out there all year long. And think how much fun that can be on Spirit

December 24, 2004 10:28 pm

Hey, your locker sounds awesome. I was wondering if you could email me any pictures or diagrams you have of it. I am going to do something similar and would love some inspiration. Yo can send the pictures to me at D.u.b.l.i.n.b.e.n [at] gmail [dot] com

September 2, 2005 6:56 am

Ben, I’ll have to look to see if I can find some of those pictures, but I’m not at home anymore so it might be a while. They were pretty darn close to the plans though, so you could go off those.

September 3, 2005 4:30 am